Go Healthy Go Fit Declares WAR on Dominos

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dominos-breadbowls-2401-300x186No one gives the benefit of the doubt to a good “cheat” food from time to time like I do, but Dominos has taken Don’t eat these please advantage of my kindness and I refuse to remain idle any longer. As of today, I have officially declared war on Dominos. Why have I decided to remove the glove and smack a major corporation across the proverbial face? I’ll give you a hint… its cheesy pasta served in a processed white bread bowl.
The new Domino’s Pasta Bread Bowl is an abomination against humanity, and according to That’s Fit it contains, “between 1340 and 1480 calories and around 30 grams of fat…”, and that ain’t the good fat either folks! But putting aside the absurd amount of calories for a second, let’s just sit back and think about how this tasty little devil will put your insulin levels out of whack. Most pasta has a Glycemic Index of well over 55, and bread has a Glycemic Index that pushes 100 on many occasions! Both of these numbers are above the recommended levels for basic health. I wouldn’t buy these bread bowls if Billy Mays and the guy from the Sham Wow infomercial teamed up for a prime-time hard sell!
With companies such as Kentucky Fried Chicken, or Kentucky “Grilled” Chicken, at least attempting to take a step in the right direction by becoming more health conscious, Dominos now joins the likes of some of the worst offenders in recent history. Here are their new brethren in the artery-clogging business:

  • Outback Steakhouse and their “Awesome Blossum” – 2710 calories
  • Outback Steakhouse and their “Aussie Cheese Fries With Ranch Dressing” – 2900 calories
  • Jamba Juice and their “Chocolate Moo’d Power Smoothie” – 900 calories
  • Macaroni Grill and their “Double Macaroni ‘n’ Cheese Kid’s Meal” – 1210 calories

Not since the third installment of INDIANA JONES where Germany declared war on the Jone’s boys has such a confrontation presented itself, threatening to bring instability to the global community. What exactly are Go Healthy Go Fit’s intentions in this battle of the ages? A statement was released an hour ago around the world:

Go Healthy Go Fit has exactly zero intentions of taking any action on this matter. While the particular food in question should be considered inedible, there is, in fact, no threat of violence and remains merely a war of attrition brought on by a single man and his laptop. The article in question was simply one of those gag posts… GOTCHA!!”
food stats provided by Men’s Health

 

 

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